08.13.07

Truths about age

Posted in Humor at 13:52 by Borniet

 GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can’t
baptize
cats.
2) When your
Mom is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush
your hair.
3) If your sister
hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch
the  second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a
tomato
.
5) You can’t trust
dogs
to watch your food.
6) Don’t
sneeze when someone is cutting
your hair.
7) Never hold a
Dust-Buster and a cat
at the same time.
8) You can’t hide a piece of
broccoli
in a glass of milk.
9) Don’t wear
polka-dot
underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you’re sad is
Grandpa’s
lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing
Jell-O
to a tree.
2)
Wrinkles
don’t hurt.
3) Families are like
fudge
…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today’s mighty
oak is just yesterday’s nut
that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It’s like
jogging
on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the
fiber
, not the toy.   

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is
mandatory; growing up is optional
.
2) Forget the
health food. I need all the preservatives
I can get.
3) When you fall
down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down
there.
4) You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a
rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster
.
5) It’s frustrating when you know all the
answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions
.
6) Time may be a great
healer, but it’s a lousy beautician
.
7)
Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone
.

SUCCESS:
At age  4  success is . . not
peeing
in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having
friends
.
At age 16 success is . . . having a
drivers license
.
At age 20 success is . . . having a
girlfriend
that thinks you a really good looking
At age 35 success is . . . having
money
.
At age 50 success is . . . having
money
.
At age 60 success is . . . having a
girlfriend
that thinks you are really good looking
At age 70 success is . . . having a
drivers license
.
At age 75 success is . . . having
friends
.
At age 80 success is . . . not
peeing
in your pants.       

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